本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛“He might have saved $18000 commission, ...”
很口语。应该说$18000 on (or in) the commission. 同时commission是可数名词,不可以单数形式单独出现,需加冠词或改成复数(后面句子有同样情况)。
“Listing agent is a friend of the seller and agreed to not charge ...”
应该是agreed not to... 不定式的否定形式。
句式上比较Chinglish,不够生动。如改成定于从句形式,比如 "Listing agent who is a friend of the seller agreed..." 或者“Listing agent, a friend of the seller, agreed..." 似乎好些。
“There're over 50 showings.”
应该是过去时。(后面句子也有同样问题,不再重复了。)而且作为书面语不适合用缩写。
"I know at least 2 houses which failed to sell... "
which 引导定于从句有两种形式:一种是前面加介词,另一种是非限定性定于从句,前面加逗号。在这个句子中应该用 that.
“Most buyers search on MLS only and you'd miss probably 90% of the market.”
两个并列句子是因果关系,用and连接似乎不合适。
"There're many private sale operators out there. Most have really bad web interfaces."
两句话语义连贯,似乎应该合成一个并列句;或者用从句表达,比如“There're many private sale operators out there, most of which have really bad web interfaces.” 但这样一来意思发生了变化,由愿意“很多”变成了“多数”。如何在不加太大改动的前提下更合适地表达原意,我还没想好。
"Earlier this year, I knew a house was for private sale but I couldn't find it at any of the private sale web sites I know."
口语化。应该在‘a house’前面或后面加'that',同时在最后的'I know'前面加'that' 或者 'as'。
"Later the owner hired an agent and lowered price."
句法没错,语义也没问题,但如果用eventually替换later,或者说"...the owner ended up hiring..."似乎更能贴切表达作者意思。
"They're likely to pay less than the general buying public"
general buying public似乎有问题?
"I once checked 100 sales on MLS, 95 of them had a buyer's agent."
两个单独的句子中间无连词。可以考虑把逗号换成 and,或者用which替换them。
最后,
Personally, I am with you on this one.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
很口语。应该说$18000 on (or in) the commission. 同时commission是可数名词,不可以单数形式单独出现,需加冠词或改成复数(后面句子有同样情况)。
“Listing agent is a friend of the seller and agreed to not charge ...”
应该是agreed not to... 不定式的否定形式。
句式上比较Chinglish,不够生动。如改成定于从句形式,比如 "Listing agent who is a friend of the seller agreed..." 或者“Listing agent, a friend of the seller, agreed..." 似乎好些。
“There're over 50 showings.”
应该是过去时。(后面句子也有同样问题,不再重复了。)而且作为书面语不适合用缩写。
"I know at least 2 houses which failed to sell... "
which 引导定于从句有两种形式:一种是前面加介词,另一种是非限定性定于从句,前面加逗号。在这个句子中应该用 that.
“Most buyers search on MLS only and you'd miss probably 90% of the market.”
两个并列句子是因果关系,用and连接似乎不合适。
"There're many private sale operators out there. Most have really bad web interfaces."
两句话语义连贯,似乎应该合成一个并列句;或者用从句表达,比如“There're many private sale operators out there, most of which have really bad web interfaces.” 但这样一来意思发生了变化,由愿意“很多”变成了“多数”。如何在不加太大改动的前提下更合适地表达原意,我还没想好。
"Earlier this year, I knew a house was for private sale but I couldn't find it at any of the private sale web sites I know."
口语化。应该在‘a house’前面或后面加'that',同时在最后的'I know'前面加'that' 或者 'as'。
"Later the owner hired an agent and lowered price."
句法没错,语义也没问题,但如果用eventually替换later,或者说"...the owner ended up hiring..."似乎更能贴切表达作者意思。
"They're likely to pay less than the general buying public"
general buying public似乎有问题?
"I once checked 100 sales on MLS, 95 of them had a buyer's agent."
两个单独的句子中间无连词。可以考虑把逗号换成 and,或者用which替换them。
最后,
Personally, I am with you on this one.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net