本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛（转）这是白宫官方发表的布什报告。原文附后。大家可上白宫网站链接上直接看。
http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/022302.asp
先附上别人所作的翻译。我粗略看了一下，翻译基本上和原文一模一样。
气死人啦！！！！欺人太甚！！！！
布什总统叙述东方之行的种种教训与亮点
总统的新闻简报
布什：早上好，昨天下午，布什夫人与我一同从我们那令人激动的，具有深远意义的东方之旅中归来，今天，回首那异常苦闷的长达95小时，36分，23秒的同那些侏儒般的，讲话滑稽的人的友善接触，我们仍然是深受鼓舞和充满希望的。于是今天早上，我很乐于与大家分享这次具有历史意义的远东之旅中的教训与得宜。
你知道，首先，也是最重要的， 象其他所有的我去往地球偏僻角落的旅程一样，这次行程使我很受鼓舞，因为它再次验证了服务于我个人哲学体系的基础理论的真实性，那就是，众多的白人基督徒富豪掌握这个世界。你们可能已经看到了，那些古怪的小黄人摔过他们的竹子拖鞋来博取我的注意。现在，是我所描绘的数十亿的美国集团的投资还是无数A-130武装直升机喷射火焰的阴影笼罩在他们细小而扁平的头上赢得了他们的尊敬？我不知道，那肯定不是我说过的任何原因，谁知道。
我行程的第一站是可爱而令人尊敬的日本国。日本民族是优良的民族-他们发明了kitty猫，California rolls, and radiation sickness。同时，我被告之他们是重要的盟友，尽管他们的国家还大不过一个圣体节的庆祝会场。
（此段关于日圆贬值，懒得翻了。）
我同样访问了南韩，我很高兴报告大家我凝视着那个恶魔，恶魔，恶魔国家北朝鲜，并且挑衅他们做点什么，但是他们不敢。我从某些地方读到，北韩没有一个"美国公民粮食权"，没有苹果派，没有红龙虾，甚至墨西哥玉米卷。恶魔怎么成这样？可是，看来一些南韩反战分子仍然恼怒与于我的State of the Union 演讲，于是我花了几分钟告诉他们五角大楼的现在真实情况，告诉他们我们不打算袭击北韩，很快，他们就买帐了。事实是，我们已准备在任何日子里将榴散弹扔到那些北韩的共产党，吃拐杖的蠢驴头上了。（欢呼，鼓掌声）
最后，我到达了中国，好象回到了我年轻时冲动的，散发的呕吐气味的啤酒沫的旅程。中国和我年轻时记忆中一样的巨大，发臭和污秽不堪。（接着一句是布什的"幽默" ，涉及70年代，不翻了）
（接着这段对江泽民有戏谑的话，不想翻。大意讲了两人讲了很多废话，但布什的目的是要中国给他的反恐战争一个背书（明确的支持）。以此为交换条件，美国可以对中国卖武器给恐怖主义国家、导弹工厂的未成年奴隶、对美国间谍飞机成员的自杀性折磨等 睁只眼闭只眼。）
我在中国的最后一天，对一些大学生讲话 ，我故意将"great wall of china" 讲成 "gleat warr of china" 他们居然没明白过来。你看，东方人居然不能念出他们的" r's"的音，heh-heh, 愚蠢滑稽的东方人。把这些黄种农夫中的一个弄一个回我在克劳福德的大农场，我要拿手杖追着他满地跑，戳他，并让他睡到小牛圈里。heh-heh, 我在开玩笑，不过，那不是很酷吗最后，让我提示一下，这次行程留给我以希望，因为它向我证实了美国价值-－象是同类相食的贪婪和圣经裹尸布遮掩下的伪善，一定会战胜那些在剥削自己尿色皮肤的同胞们的富裕而腐败的东方人的心。
感谢你们，上帝保佑。
（翻译：Alan.）
PRESIDENT BUSH RECOUNTS MYRIAD LESSONS AND HIGHLIGHTS OF HIS ORIENTAL TOUR
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Bush and I returned from our intensely meaningful vacation to the Oriental nations. Today, looking back on the agonizingly long 95 hours, 36 minutes, and 23 seconds we were required to fraternize with dwarfish, funny-talking mathletes, we are nevertheless invigorated and hopeful. And so this morning, I'd like to share some of the highlights and lessons of our profoundly historic Far East journey.
You know, first and foremost, I find myself invigorated by this trip for the same reason I am by all my trips to inferior corners of the earth - because it reaffirms the fundamental truism that serves as the basis for my personal philosophy: multi-millionaire white Christian males have the world by the nutsack. You should have seen those squirrely litle yellow folks falling over their bamboo slippers to impress me! Now whether it was the billions in American corporate investment I represent, or the omnipresent spectre of A-130 gunships raining fiery lead down on their tiny flat heads that earned their respect, I don't know. It sure wasn't anything I said. Who knows. Maybe Asia isn't quite so backwards as country club wisdom says, after all.
The first stop on my tour was to the adorable nation of Japan. The Japanese people are a fine people ?they invented Hello Kitty, California rolls, and radiation sickness. Also, I'm told they are an important ally - despite the fact that their so-called country isn't much bigger than a Corpus Christi hodown.
Did you read about how the Yen plummeted after I said something about currency? Let's be honest and talk plainly ?is there really a difference between devaluation and deflation? They both mean "Money Bad Time." I mean, come on. It's a damned good thing I didn't say "LOOK OUT! GODZILLA COMING - AND HE VERY ANGRY!" Whole damn country would have broken out their little toy tanks and rocket launchers!
I also visited South Korea, and I am happy to report that I stared into the evil, evil, EVIL country of North Korea and dared them to start something. But they didn't. I read somewhere that North Korea doesn't have ONE American food franchise. No Applebies, or Red Lobsters, or even Taco Bells. How evil is that? Seems some South Korean spazz-o peaceniks were still riled up about my State of the Union speech though, so I took a few minutes to tell them about the Pentagon's current version of reality, which says that we are NOT going to invade North Korea. Fortuantely, they bought it. Truth is, we're going to start dropping fistsful of shrapnel up those Commie, stick-eating fruicakes' gook asses any day now. (Applause.)
Finally I arrived in China, which in a way was a trip back to my younger days of bloody noses and vomiting beer foam. China is as big, smelly and filthy as I remember it being as a young man traveling abroad. And speaking of broads: when I was in China in the 1970's, I secretly courted four or eight of those Maoist foxes and well - let's just say that all those rumors about what direction their boxes smile are completely false. Heh-heh. That was an example of my folksy, charming, and refreshing sense of humor - which I can turn on and off without even one sip of cold, relaxing beer.
I talked a lot with the Chinese President Guy ?my nickname for him was President Jiang the Chicken Wiang. Anyway, we ate a lot of number 13, number 5, and number 24 and talked about important things like free speech and religion and blah blah blah. But what I really wanted from him was a lukewarm endorsement of my War on Terror, thus strengthening the Noble Smokescreen that allows my administration to take its Rich Guy Domestic Agenda and jam it down the throats of every last pansy Democrat in Congress. In exchange for this endorsement, the US will turn a blind eye to China's weapons sales to terrorist states, child slavery in Nike factories, suicidal harassments of US spy planes, and the rampant mass executions and organ harvesting of Falun Gong cultists.
During my last days in China I spoke with University students who didn't even "get" it when I referred to the Great Wall of China as the "Gleat Warr of China." You see - Orientals can't pronounce their "R's." Heh-heh. Stupid, funny Orientals. What I wouldn't give to have one of those yellow fellahs back at my ranch in Crawford. I'd chase him around with a stick and poke at him and make him sleep in a veal pen! Heh-heh. Naw, I am kidding. But wouldn't that be cool?
Lastly, let me state that this trip left me hopeful because it proved to me that American values like cannibalistic greed and flag-and-bible shrouded hypocrisy, can and will win the hearts of corrupt and wealthy Orientals looking to exploit their billions of urine-colored brethren.
Thank you, and God Bless.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2002/022302.asp
先附上别人所作的翻译。我粗略看了一下，翻译基本上和原文一模一样。
气死人啦！！！！欺人太甚！！！！
布什总统叙述东方之行的种种教训与亮点
总统的新闻简报
布什：早上好，昨天下午，布什夫人与我一同从我们那令人激动的，具有深远意义的东方之旅中归来，今天，回首那异常苦闷的长达95小时，36分，23秒的同那些侏儒般的，讲话滑稽的人的友善接触，我们仍然是深受鼓舞和充满希望的。于是今天早上，我很乐于与大家分享这次具有历史意义的远东之旅中的教训与得宜。
你知道，首先，也是最重要的， 象其他所有的我去往地球偏僻角落的旅程一样，这次行程使我很受鼓舞，因为它再次验证了服务于我个人哲学体系的基础理论的真实性，那就是，众多的白人基督徒富豪掌握这个世界。你们可能已经看到了，那些古怪的小黄人摔过他们的竹子拖鞋来博取我的注意。现在，是我所描绘的数十亿的美国集团的投资还是无数A-130武装直升机喷射火焰的阴影笼罩在他们细小而扁平的头上赢得了他们的尊敬？我不知道，那肯定不是我说过的任何原因，谁知道。
我行程的第一站是可爱而令人尊敬的日本国。日本民族是优良的民族-他们发明了kitty猫，California rolls, and radiation sickness。同时，我被告之他们是重要的盟友，尽管他们的国家还大不过一个圣体节的庆祝会场。
（此段关于日圆贬值，懒得翻了。）
我同样访问了南韩，我很高兴报告大家我凝视着那个恶魔，恶魔，恶魔国家北朝鲜，并且挑衅他们做点什么，但是他们不敢。我从某些地方读到，北韩没有一个"美国公民粮食权"，没有苹果派，没有红龙虾，甚至墨西哥玉米卷。恶魔怎么成这样？可是，看来一些南韩反战分子仍然恼怒与于我的State of the Union 演讲，于是我花了几分钟告诉他们五角大楼的现在真实情况，告诉他们我们不打算袭击北韩，很快，他们就买帐了。事实是，我们已准备在任何日子里将榴散弹扔到那些北韩的共产党，吃拐杖的蠢驴头上了。（欢呼，鼓掌声）
最后，我到达了中国，好象回到了我年轻时冲动的，散发的呕吐气味的啤酒沫的旅程。中国和我年轻时记忆中一样的巨大，发臭和污秽不堪。（接着一句是布什的"幽默" ，涉及70年代，不翻了）
（接着这段对江泽民有戏谑的话，不想翻。大意讲了两人讲了很多废话，但布什的目的是要中国给他的反恐战争一个背书（明确的支持）。以此为交换条件，美国可以对中国卖武器给恐怖主义国家、导弹工厂的未成年奴隶、对美国间谍飞机成员的自杀性折磨等 睁只眼闭只眼。）
我在中国的最后一天，对一些大学生讲话 ，我故意将"great wall of china" 讲成 "gleat warr of china" 他们居然没明白过来。你看，东方人居然不能念出他们的" r's"的音，heh-heh, 愚蠢滑稽的东方人。把这些黄种农夫中的一个弄一个回我在克劳福德的大农场，我要拿手杖追着他满地跑，戳他，并让他睡到小牛圈里。heh-heh, 我在开玩笑，不过，那不是很酷吗最后，让我提示一下，这次行程留给我以希望，因为它向我证实了美国价值-－象是同类相食的贪婪和圣经裹尸布遮掩下的伪善，一定会战胜那些在剥削自己尿色皮肤的同胞们的富裕而腐败的东方人的心。
感谢你们，上帝保佑。
（翻译：Alan.）
PRESIDENT BUSH RECOUNTS MYRIAD LESSONS AND HIGHLIGHTS OF HIS ORIENTAL TOUR
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Yesterday afternoon, Mrs. Bush and I returned from our intensely meaningful vacation to the Oriental nations. Today, looking back on the agonizingly long 95 hours, 36 minutes, and 23 seconds we were required to fraternize with dwarfish, funny-talking mathletes, we are nevertheless invigorated and hopeful. And so this morning, I'd like to share some of the highlights and lessons of our profoundly historic Far East journey.
You know, first and foremost, I find myself invigorated by this trip for the same reason I am by all my trips to inferior corners of the earth - because it reaffirms the fundamental truism that serves as the basis for my personal philosophy: multi-millionaire white Christian males have the world by the nutsack. You should have seen those squirrely litle yellow folks falling over their bamboo slippers to impress me! Now whether it was the billions in American corporate investment I represent, or the omnipresent spectre of A-130 gunships raining fiery lead down on their tiny flat heads that earned their respect, I don't know. It sure wasn't anything I said. Who knows. Maybe Asia isn't quite so backwards as country club wisdom says, after all.
The first stop on my tour was to the adorable nation of Japan. The Japanese people are a fine people ?they invented Hello Kitty, California rolls, and radiation sickness. Also, I'm told they are an important ally - despite the fact that their so-called country isn't much bigger than a Corpus Christi hodown.
Did you read about how the Yen plummeted after I said something about currency? Let's be honest and talk plainly ?is there really a difference between devaluation and deflation? They both mean "Money Bad Time." I mean, come on. It's a damned good thing I didn't say "LOOK OUT! GODZILLA COMING - AND HE VERY ANGRY!" Whole damn country would have broken out their little toy tanks and rocket launchers!
I also visited South Korea, and I am happy to report that I stared into the evil, evil, EVIL country of North Korea and dared them to start something. But they didn't. I read somewhere that North Korea doesn't have ONE American food franchise. No Applebies, or Red Lobsters, or even Taco Bells. How evil is that? Seems some South Korean spazz-o peaceniks were still riled up about my State of the Union speech though, so I took a few minutes to tell them about the Pentagon's current version of reality, which says that we are NOT going to invade North Korea. Fortuantely, they bought it. Truth is, we're going to start dropping fistsful of shrapnel up those Commie, stick-eating fruicakes' gook asses any day now. (Applause.)
Finally I arrived in China, which in a way was a trip back to my younger days of bloody noses and vomiting beer foam. China is as big, smelly and filthy as I remember it being as a young man traveling abroad. And speaking of broads: when I was in China in the 1970's, I secretly courted four or eight of those Maoist foxes and well - let's just say that all those rumors about what direction their boxes smile are completely false. Heh-heh. That was an example of my folksy, charming, and refreshing sense of humor - which I can turn on and off without even one sip of cold, relaxing beer.
I talked a lot with the Chinese President Guy ?my nickname for him was President Jiang the Chicken Wiang. Anyway, we ate a lot of number 13, number 5, and number 24 and talked about important things like free speech and religion and blah blah blah. But what I really wanted from him was a lukewarm endorsement of my War on Terror, thus strengthening the Noble Smokescreen that allows my administration to take its Rich Guy Domestic Agenda and jam it down the throats of every last pansy Democrat in Congress. In exchange for this endorsement, the US will turn a blind eye to China's weapons sales to terrorist states, child slavery in Nike factories, suicidal harassments of US spy planes, and the rampant mass executions and organ harvesting of Falun Gong cultists.
During my last days in China I spoke with University students who didn't even "get" it when I referred to the Great Wall of China as the "Gleat Warr of China." You see - Orientals can't pronounce their "R's." Heh-heh. Stupid, funny Orientals. What I wouldn't give to have one of those yellow fellahs back at my ranch in Crawford. I'd chase him around with a stick and poke at him and make him sleep in a veal pen! Heh-heh. Naw, I am kidding. But wouldn't that be cool?
Lastly, let me state that this trip left me hopeful because it proved to me that American values like cannibalistic greed and flag-and-bible shrouded hypocrisy, can and will win the hearts of corrupt and wealthy Orientals looking to exploit their billions of urine-colored brethren.
Thank you, and God Bless.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
